The Cycle of Trust

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“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11

Becoming a parent has taught me a lot about marriage, especially in this area of trust.

A baby cries when she needs something. Her parents care for her and provide for her needs. She trusts that when she cries, mommy and daddy will respond, figure out what’s up, and meet her need. Good parents make sure their children’s needs are met and they aren’t missing out on the good things that parent-child relationship brings.

Marriage is no different.

My husband should be able to trust me with anything – with his needs, wants, hurts, joys, struggles, worries, dreams, hopes. Anything. Everything. I want to be the one he calls, cries out to, leans on. He should be able to rely on me to respond, figure out what’s up, and meet his needs. “Wives like that” make sure their husbands’ needs are met and they aren’t missing out on the good things the husband-wife relationship brings.

But, like I’m growing in my role as a mom, I’m also growing in my role as a wife. And that means I make a lot of mistakes. Maybe you’ve caught yourself in one of these situations that can potentially break or put up barriers to trust in your marriage:

Not really listening when he’s opening his heart to you.

Not keeping his confidence as you tell your girlfriends something he shared in the privacy of your relationship.

Intentionally (or unintentionally) not meeting his needs, or consistently putting your needs ahead of his.

Responding poorly to his attempts to communicate with you.

I know I’m guilty of more than one of those. So I’m thankful that God’s grace covers those mistakes and empowers me to listen better, keep his secrets, communicate with him and meet his needs. God’s mercy and forgiveness are for you and your marriage too. God is a God of promise-making and promise-keeping. We know, without a doubt, we can trust him – with our hopes and dreams, our problems and doubts, our cares and concerns. We can trust that he will hear us, respond to us, and meet our needs. God’s deep love for us, manifested in Jesus, is a perfect model for our marriages. We will fail, yes. But God never will. And we can trust God to give us the Wonder Woman ability to do the ordinary, every day task of being wives our husbands can trust with all their hearts. We can believe our Father will strengthen us to meet the needs of our husbands.

Let’s pray for God’s presence in our marriages; for wives who are trustworthy and husbands who are encouraged. For husbands who provide for their families and wives who meet the needs of their husbands. And for marriages that are built on the solid foundation of trust in Christ alone.

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