"An excellent wife who can find?" (Proverbs 31:10)
An excellent wife - a perfect wife - an ideal wife - the “hostess with the mostest” - the picture of perfection. She's what a man should look for in a woman. She's basically Wonder Woman.
An excellent wife who can find? An excellent wife who can be? There are piles of laundry that smell like sweaty body odor. The sink is full of dirty dishes that smell worse than the laundry. Crumbs on the floor is the least of the day’s issues. Meals are last-minute and so not planned out in advance. And then there’s the lingering disagreement with the husband...
I hope I'm not the only woman whose life looks more like that description! I'm a sinful woman, and sinful women can't be perfect wives. I’m far from the "excellent wife". If we look at the first line of this section of Scripture through a lens like that, we'll only ever find conviction and quickly lose hope of ever being a woman like that, much less a wife like that. What does God mean by an "excellent wife"?
"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband" (Proverbs 12:4a). She is a woman with a good reputation. She brings good to her husband’s name by her good character. She's his crown, his blessing from God, his gift.
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Marriage is meant to be a blessing. An excellent wife knows she is a blessing from God to her husband, and acts like it.
"House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord" (Proverbs 19:14). A wise and reasonable wife is a special gift from God himself. A man can't inherit a good woman.
"From God" is the common phrase in every verse. God wants us women to strive to be excellent. But he doesn't expect us to do it alone. We may not have super powers, but we do have a super God who pours out his grace, righteousness and forgiveness on us. We have a God who gives us the ability to be ordinary wonder women. He forgives our imperfections and outfits us with what we need to get through the every day. His love motivates us to love. Our failures are covered by his grace. Let His grace shown in the cross of Jesus remind you that you are made good and right and holy through him.
Becoming an excellent wife is about knowing your identity as God's beloved daughter. A gift given to your husband, your family, your community. A woman who knows her Lord and knows she is dearly loved by him. A humbly confident woman who does her best with the abilities God has given her. You're called to do your best, love your husband, and extend the grace God pours on you. God will make you excellent.