Moving from Fearful to Faithful

I have a confession to make.

I am a worrier. 

I worry about far too many things in my life. Some I have control over, most I don't. But usually it doesn't matter how much (perceived) control I have, I will worry. And worry's friend is close by - and I've been meeting that friend much more often recently.

Fear.

Fear and worry like to skip around holding hands and singing. Unfortunately, the songs they sing are not happy and fun. They're depressing and discouraging. And they're loud.... ear-piercing... deafening. Sometimes even kind of paralyzing. How? 

For me, fear keeps me from doing all kinds of things. I'm an introvert by nature and not at all a risk-taker. I over-evaluate pretty much everything. If there's a chance I could get hurt, I probably look the other way. If there's a possibility I could fail - forget about it. Anything that has the potential to cause pain, awkwardness or uncomfortableness (is that even a word?) for me gets heavily reconsidered.

Fear keeps me from doing things and makes me worry extensively about the "what ifs"...

What if I fall climbing those rocks?
What if I lose my job?
What if no one reads what I write?
Or worse, what if people just don't like (or care about) what I have to say?

Fear keeps me from taking adventures. It keeps me from writing and sharing what I have to say with the world. Fear holds me back from what could be some amazing stuff in my life. Fear has me captive more often than I'd like. And if I keep letting it have so much control over me I may never live my life the way I could - the way God intends for me to live it.

This week I've been giving much more thought (admittedly not as much prayer - must work on that) to "the rest of my life". I feel like God has been putting pieces in place and dropping hints for me to work on writing. I've been listening to interviews Michael Hyatt has put together with some of the best minds in business and writing and it's been inspiring to me. By the time I had listened to two and half speakers, they had addressed every fear and doubt I've had about pursuing writing further. All these big "celebrities" in the world of blogging, business, and writing have the same fears I have - and all of them are encouraging anyone listening to go for it anyway.

The fear and worry has to get pushed aside. I have to try things and not be so afraid to fail, or stumble, or get hurt. And that's crazy hard to do. But, God promises His presence and peace, which is more than enough to shove fear and worry away. 

I saw Joshua 1:9 scroll on my screensaver at work today. It became one of my top few favorite Bible verses a couple years ago during a pretty rough patch I was going through. Today I read it with fresh eyes, in a new context, and got so excited about what God can do.

My fears seem to have no limits, but lately my fear is targeted on writing. My mind is swimming with ideas for my blog and another idea I hope to start soon, and I just can't bring myself to write it down and share it with anyone. Today when I read this verse it was as if God was speaking directly into this part of my life.

The Biblical context of this verse is Joshua about to lead the Israelites down what promises to be a rocky road as they fight for the land God was giving to them. Obviously, my struggle is nowhere near what Joshua was facing. But fears are fears and they are real. Most days I don't feel strong or courageous. Fear and discouragement flood my thoughts and heart. But God's promise here to be with me wherever I go is such a comfort. It's only through Christ that I can be strong and courageous enough to chase something I never really thought I would, say things I never thought I could, and encourage others to come along. It's that strength I have in Jesus that pushes out fear and discouragement. And when those feelings do creep their way back in, I have a God who is with me and who is ready to fight for me. In Christ, I can moving from being fearful to being faithful. Faithful to following a God who promises His presence with me. Faithful to a God who tells me I shouldn't be afraid because He's here. Faithful to a God who has my best at heart. Faithful to a God I know I can trust with my life, because He saved me Himself.

So I'm working on saying goodbye to fear and worry, with God's help. I'm working on trusting God to lead and guide, especially when I don't know the way. 

Fear may be holding worry's hand, but God is holding mine!
3 Comments

A Wife Like That

* indicates required