I am a worrier.
I worry about far too many things in my life. Some I have control over, most I don't. But usually it doesn't matter how much (perceived) control I have, I will worry. And worry's friend is close by - and I've been meeting that friend much more often recently.
Fear and worry like to skip around holding hands and singing. Unfortunately, the songs they sing are not happy and fun. They're depressing and discouraging. And they're loud.... ear-piercing... deafening. Sometimes even kind of paralyzing. How?
For me, fear keeps me from doing all kinds of things. I'm an introvert by nature and not at all a risk-taker. I over-evaluate pretty much everything. If there's a chance I could get hurt, I probably look the other way. If there's a possibility I could fail - forget about it. Anything that has the potential to cause pain, awkwardness or uncomfortableness (is that even a word?) for me gets heavily reconsidered.
Fear keeps me from doing things and makes me worry extensively about the "what ifs"...
What if I fall climbing those rocks?
What if I lose my job?
What if no one reads what I write?
Or worse, what if people just don't like (or care about) what I have to say?
Fear keeps me from taking adventures. It keeps me from writing and sharing what I have to say with the world. Fear holds me back from what could be some amazing stuff in my life. Fear has me captive more often than I'd like. And if I keep letting it have so much control over me I may never live my life the way I could - the way God intends for me to live it.
This week I've been giving much more thought (admittedly not as much prayer - must work on that) to "the rest of my life". I feel like God has been putting pieces in place and dropping hints for me to work on writing. I've been listening to interviews Michael Hyatt has put together with some of the best minds in business and writing and it's been inspiring to me. By the time I had listened to two and half speakers, they had addressed every fear and doubt I've had about pursuing writing further. All these big "celebrities" in the world of blogging, business, and writing have the same fears I have - and all of them are encouraging anyone listening to go for it anyway.
The fear and worry has to get pushed aside. I have to try things and not be so afraid to fail, or stumble, or get hurt. And that's crazy hard to do. But, God promises His presence and peace, which is more than enough to shove fear and worry away.
I saw Joshua 1:9 scroll on my screensaver at work today. It became one of my top few favorite Bible verses a couple years ago during a pretty rough patch I was going through. Today I read it with fresh eyes, in a new context, and got so excited about what God can do.