10 Adjectives 1-3

About a week ago I blogged about finding my "10 Adjectives about My Ideal Mate" list and I promised to write about what was actually on that list.  I'll start with the first three, although they really are in no particular order...

Strong man of God. Ok, there was a reason why this was number one on my list. Finding a solid Christian man was very important to me. What would this "strong man of God" look like? I wrote about that too - able to talk about faith, go to church together, family devotions and prayer. And I'm sure if I'd had more room I would have written much more. God delivered on this item in a huge way. Jeff is very solid in his faith and is intentional about acting on it. He's not afraid to talk about God, church and faith. He's not afraid to tell people where he sees the source of their issues and where they can find true help and healing. I really love that God gave me a man who is strong in areas where I struggle. I've struggled for years to develop a more consistent personal devotional life. I've also struggled with growing in my prayer life. God made Jeff to be a prayer warrior and someone who sees the great value of being in the Word on a regular basis. He keeps me accountable in simple ways. He'll ask if I read my Bible or ask what I read in my Bible. We've had some fun conversations about different things we've read and our thoughts on them. He also helps me remember to prioritize prayer and bringing my anxieties to God. He will gladly listen to my ranting, raving, venting, and rejoicing, as long as I'm also taking those same things to our Father in prayer. I forget to do that, Jeff reminds me. I pray that more girls and women would search for men who are after God's heart first and foremost. I didn't realize how important that was to me (and how attractive a solid Christian man is) until I met Jeff.

Honest. It seems like we think lying is no big deal until someone lies to us. Then, when we find out we've been lied to, we feel we can no longer trust the liar, probably for good reasons. Honesty in a relationship is huge and goes hand-in-hand with trust. Proverbs has some interesting things to say about honesty, not necessarily for husbands and wives, but for general living. Proverbs 16:13 says, "Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth." If leaders value truthfulness, why shouldn't we also value it in our personal relationships? Proverbs 24:26 says, "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." Honesty is so sweet, even when it's hard to hear. The Bible contains at least 214 references to the word "truth", so we know it's important to God. God is a God of truth. We don't have to settle for less than truth even in our human relationships, especially if the man is truly following God. God blessed me in this area with a husband who has a very hard time being dishonest. He's honest with everyone and takes that attribute incredibly seriously. While he's not perfect even in this area, he tries hard not to mislead or misinform.

Open. This one kind of goes along with being honest and trustworthy. It's pretty awful to have one-sided conversations in relationships. It's tough to trust when you get the feeling your partner is hiding things from you. I'm learning that transparency can be a great thing in a marriage. I love that Jeff can confide in me and me in him. We know we can trust the other to keep certain things confidential. Plus, it's really fun to keep finding out new things about each other. Now that Jeff and I live together we're learning about each other's personalities and I think we're learning new things about ourselves, too. These lessons have not always been easy to learn, and we've argued quite a bit in our short marriage, but we also both recognize that we're growing and learning together. That's key - we're in this together.
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